How to Be Beautiful in 7 Simple Steps

source: http://skincare.about.com/od/skin101/a/How-To-Be-Beautiful-In-7-Simple-Steps.htm

Beauty is not a one-size-fits-all description. We all have different skin types, hair types, body types, likes and dislikes. Some are tall, some are short, some are thin and some are naturally heavy. We truly believe that every single person can be beautiful each day with a tiny bit of effort and a little confidence.

Cheese! How Do Your Teeth Look?

If you're a heavy coffee drinker or red wine is your drink of choice, chances are good you could use a little whitening action on your teeth. (Guilty!) You don't have to go all out with in-office whitening if you don't want to. Simply use a whitening toothpaste or whitening strips.

Beauty Tip: When it comes to getting your picture taken, smile with your teeth! You may not like your teeth, they may be a little crooked or not as white as you'd like, but you will always look more natural and beautiful if you smile for your pictures with a genuine teeth-showing smile even if your teeth aren't perfect.

When It Comes to Makeup, Think Classic, Not Trendy

Sometimes when you're looking at fashion magazines or beauty blogs  (or heaven forbid, fashion week!) you come away thinking you need to stock up on the latest trends - be it green eye liner or shiny wet looking lipstick. Stick with the classics for a truly beautiful look because so often the trends leave you looking older .

Beauty Tip: One sure way to look back at a photo and cringe is by overdoing your eyes and your lips. Pick one and do it right. Then, leave the other more natural. If you're going for the hot cat-eye look, play down the lips with a sheer or nude. Do you love red lipstick ? Play down the eyes with simply some mascara and sheer shadow.

Skip Tanning

You might think that a tan makes you look more beautiful than your pale bff, but if you keep tanning, you'll watch yourself get older in the mirror while your bff looks like she didn't age a day. Don't believe me? Check out the girls at your next high school. The ones who spent too much time in the sun are the ones with the crows feet. Sun exposure is the #1 cause of aging skin .

Beauty Tip: Self-tanners are totally safe, as long as you are remembering to protect your skin from the sun  with daily sunscreen applied multiple times. They are so great these days that once you get your application method down (practice in the spring before you bare all) you won't even be able to tell the difference.

How Does Your Skin Look?

All it takes is a pimple, wrinkle, large pores or ashy skin to bring down your confidence level. That's why taking care of your skin daily is important. Cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize and protect against the sun on a regular basis - head to toe. You'll get rid of ashy skin, your pores will stay unclogged and your skin will stay younger looking with moisturizer and SPF.

Beauty Tip: If you don't wear sunglasses every time you're outside, start today. Wearing sunglasses will help reduce your likely hood of getting crows feet. (More tips on avoiding crows feet.)

Dress in Clothes That Make You (Not the Mannequin) Look Good

This is huge, friends. It is so hard to pull off a trend if you don't have the perfect body for the trend. Ask the people who jumped at jeggings when they first came out and soon realized they were never ever meant to wear jeggings. (I may have been one of them.)

When it comes to fashion trends, pick the ones that suite your body and sprinkle the things that can fall in without making you look ridiculous. Accessorize with trendy items of the season and stick with the clothes that make your body look good. Not everyone should be wearing low-cut jeans (Hello muffin top), neon 80's re-runs or animal prints. Ask a real friend for her opinion and don't be offended by what she has to say.

Beauty Tip: Pintrest is a great place for clothing inspiration. People pin wardrobes all of the time. I typically find a wardrobe, scoff at the price and then have fun trying to recreate it in a price point that fits my budget. Sometimes all that is needed is what I have in my closet already paired with a killer belt .

Take Care of Your Nails

You could be doing everything right, the right wardrobe, the right hair color, the perfect shoes, but if your nails are jagged and chipped, you've lost it. I don't mean you have to polish your nails every other day, but simply keeping your nails filed, at uniform shape and clear of chipped polish will be worth it. Keeping your nails short and slightly squared is what's hot right now.

Beauty Tip: Your hands are your biggest age-teller. Have you ever seen a woman with the face of a 30 year old but the hands of a 40 year old? Use your excess skin care products on your hands to help slow down their aging. Also, sunscreen them daily, as well. (More tips for younger looking hands.)

Find a Good Stylist and Visit on a Regular Basis

Two things that will kill your look is going to a new stylist each time you need a haircut and not going until it's a dire emergency. Look at your co-workers or friends hair and if you see someone who always has good hair, ask for her stylist's info. It's always good to give a stylist a few visits to see how he or she does once you've shared your long-term goal. (How to find a new hairstylist ) Don't wait for split ends  to take over your hair, either. This will only lead to desperation to pick the first stylist who can get you in and more taken off than you really wanted.

Beauty Tip: Sick of your long hair? Considering cutting it short? Before you decide to cut your hair short, there are some things you should consider. Are you going take the time in the morning to do your hair? What about ponytails? Are you going to miss them? Anyone can pull off short hair, but be sure cutting it off is not a desperate plea for a change. Sometimes all that is needed is a color boost or bangs. (How to get short hair you won't hate .)

source: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm

How to Stop Worrying

Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety Relief

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. But chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

Why is it so hard to stop worrying?

Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?
For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs—both negative and positive—they hold about worrying.
On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying—that it will take over and never stop.
On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.
Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.

Why you keep worrying

You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you—you can't sleep, and you can't get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:

• Maybe I'll find a solution.
• I don't want to overlook anything.
• If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I'll figure it out.
• I don't want to be surprised.
• I want to be responsible.

You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.
Source: The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #1: Create a worry period

It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. But what can you do? If you’re like many chronic worriers, your anxious thoughts feel uncontrollable. You’ve tried lots of things, from distracting yourself, reasoning with your worries, and trying to think positive, but nothing seems to work.

Why trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long. You can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t banish them for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent.
You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see the pink elephant in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next five minutes, don’t think about pink elephants!
How did you do? Did thoughts of pink elephants keep popping in your brain?
“Thought stopping” backfires because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.
But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying comes in. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off thinking any more about it until later.

Learning to postpone worrying:

1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.
2. Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.
3. Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #2: Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.
Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

• Is the problem something you’re currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
• If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
• Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you’re worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”
If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isn’t something you can solve? If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it’s important to tune into your emotions.
As previously mentioned, worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension and anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”
The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you shouldn’t feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.
The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you’ll be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage. The following tips will help you find a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #3: Accept uncertainty

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.
Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

• Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
• What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
• Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
• Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Adapted from: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.
Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.
Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

• What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
• What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
• If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
• Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
• What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Cognitive Distortions that Add to Anxiety, Worry, and Stress
All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”
Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”
The mental filter – Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.
Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”
Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader, “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller, “I just knowsomething terrible is going to happen.”
Catastrophizing – Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”
Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”
'Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ – Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules
Labeling – Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”
Personalization – Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”

Worry and anxiety self-help tip # 5: Be aware of how others affect you

How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch” moods from other people—even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.

• Keep a worry diary. You may not be aware of how people or situations are affecting you. Maybe this is the way it’s always been in your family, or you’ve been dealing with the stress so long that it feels normal. You may want to keep a worry diary for a week or so. Every time you start to worry, jot down the thought and what triggered it. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns.
• Spend less time with people who make you anxious. Is there someone in your life who drags you down or always seems to leave you feeling stressed? Think about cutting back on the time you spend with that person or establish healthier relationship boundaries. For example, you might set certain topics off-limits, if you know that talking about them with that person makes you anxious.
• Choose your confidantes carefully. Know who to talk to about situations that make you anxious. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed into your worries, doubts, and fears.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #6: Practice mindfulness

Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

• Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
• Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
• Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, you’ll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, you’re reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.

source: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/weight-loss

How Anxiety May Cause Weight Loss

It's well known that weight and overall health can contribute to anxiety. In fact, inactivity is one of the most common mistakes for those living with anxiety symptoms. Exercise reduces muscle tension, releases neurotransmitters that boost mood, burn away stress hormone, and help your body function properly – all of which are important for living with anxiety. Those that don't exercise become more prone to developing anxiety, which is why many with anxiety have weight management issues.

What you may not realize is that many of those living with anxiety also appear to have weight loss. Weight loss isn't necessarily an "anxiety symptom," but there does appear to be a significant number of people that lose weight with anxiety.

Weight Loss = Anxiety?

Unexplained weight loss is something that always deserves a doctor's visit. Thyroid disorders, HIV, some cancers, and diabetes are all potential causes of weight loss. But weight loss is also common in those with anxiety.

Being Safe With Weight Loss

Weight loss is generally seen as a good thing, but it's important that you lose weight safely. If you're losing weight without a healthy diet or exercise, then you're putting your body through a great deal of stress. It may also indicate a health issue, or an anxiety problem.

So play it safe when it comes to your health. Make sure you know what caused your weight loss. 

Why You Lose Weight

Stress and anxiety are commonly associated with weight gain, and for good reason – during times of anxiety, the body releases heavy amounts of cortisol, which is a hormone that contributes to weight gain – especially around the midsection. Anxiety also causes further inactivity as people lose interest in many of their activities, which can also increase weight gain.

Yet for various reasons, weight loss is also a problem that may occur with anxiety. There are several factors that cause this weight loss to occur:

• Lack of Eating – The most likely reason that those with anxiety lose weight is a disinterest in food. This is very common in those with depression, but plays a role with anxiety as well. When you have intense anxiety you start to lose your appetite. You start to feel as though you're genuinely not hungry and eat much less than you need to. You may not even realize how little you're eating, but in essence you're starving yourself, and that can cause massive weight loss very quickly. Unfortunately, it also eats away muscle and slows your metabolism so that if you start eating again, you're more likely to gain weight faster. If you have anxiety, you need to try to eat.
• Nervous Movement – Another often forgotten reason that you might lose weight with anxiety is because many of those suffering from anxiety are constantly moving. Some people develop nervous ticks and leg shakes. Others feel as though they have to get up and walk around, so they do more walking in their home. While some people completely shut down with anxiety, others unintentionally move more, and this can burn away calories.
• Sped Up Body – While long term anxiety leads to weight gain, the initial symptoms of anxiety and the fight or flight response actually do increase your metabolism, at least temporarily. Some people may experience more burned calories than others. 
• Lifestyle Changes – In rarer cases, it's possible that the way you change your lifestyle as a result of anxiety simply contributes to weight loss. For example, those with panic attacks tend to go out less and drink less as a result of their condition, and that means fewer calories. Others that used to exercise regularly may simply be losing muscle mass. The way people adjust to living with anxiety may also be a contributing factor.
• Over Compensation – Similarly, many people try to utilize various anxiety reduction strategies, including eating healthier and exercising more. The weight loss may be genuine, but because you have anxiety and because weight loss was not the intended outcome of the exercise/nutritional changes, the result may be that you worry more about your weight loss and health.

It's important to remember that anxiety itself makes you worry about things that shouldn't necessarily be worries. Weight loss may also simply occur naturally. But if you were not suspecting to lose weight, this can cause significant health concerns. It's simply the nature of anxiety to cause people to worry about their health.

Still, the most common reason that people lose weight is not eating. It's important that you do your best to eat a healthy meal with regularity.

Thyroid Conditions and Weight Loss

It should be noted that one of the few causes of anxiety that is purely physical is the development of hyperthyroid. With too much thyroid hormone, your body has too strong a metabolism, and this can cause rapid weight loss. Hyperthyroidism is also a cause of anxiety.

That's why, even though anxiety is often the cause of unexplained weight loss in people living with anxiety, it's still a good idea to check with a doctor. There are many simple tests to rule out hyperthyroidism.

Is There a Treatment?

Treating weight loss isn't necessarily related to anxiety itself. You simply need to make sure you're eating, talk to a doctor to rule out other symptoms, and keep exercising to ensure that you're promoting good health. There is nothing you can do in the short term to regain weight that's healthy for your body.

But in the long term, fighting your anxiety is going to be the key to ensuring that rapid weight loss doesn't continue. 

Be Healthy quotes

source: http://www.quotessays.com/healthy.html

Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress

source: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress

Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health. Practice overcoming negative self-talk with examples provided.

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health.

Indeed, some studies show that personality traits like optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well-being. The positive thinking that typically comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. If you tend to be pessimistic, don't despair — you can learn positive thinking skills.

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk

Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

The health benefits of positive thinking

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

Identifying negative thinking

Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Here are some common forms of negative self-talk:
• Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received.
• Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
• Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
• Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or you're a total failure.

Focusing on positive thinking

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — you're creating a new habit, after all. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive and optimistic way:
• Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a relationship. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.
• Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.
• Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
• Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body. And learn techniques to manage stress.
• Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
• Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.
Here are some examples of negative self-talk and how you can apply a positive thinking twist to them:
Putting positive thinking into practice

Negative self-talk	Positive thinking
I've never done it before.	It's an opportunity to learn something new.
It's too complicated.	I'll tackle it from a different angle.
I don't have the resources.	Necessity is the mother of invention.
I'm too lazy to get this done.	I wasn't able to fit it into my schedule, but I can re-examine some priorities.
There's no way it will work.	I can try to make it work.
It's too radical a change.	Let's take a chance.
No one bothers to communicate with me.	I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
I'm not going to get any better at this.	I'll give it another try.

Practicing positive thinking every day

If you tend to have a negative outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you.
When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you're better able to handle everyday stress in a more constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of positive thinking.

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

source: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sex-and-health

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

The perks of sex extend well beyond the bedroom.

By Kara Mayer Robinson
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD

Sex not only feels good. It can also be good for you. Here’s what a healthy sex life can do for you.

Sex-Drive Killers Slideshow

1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming

“Sexually active people take fewer sick days,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD a sexual health expert.

People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

You should still do all the other things that make your immune system happy, such as:

• Eat right.
• Stay active.
• Get enough sleep.
• Keep up with your vaccinations.
• Use a condom if you don’t know both of your STD statuses.

2. Boosts Your Libido

Longing for a more lively sex life? “Having sex will make sex better and will improve your libido,” says Lauren Streicher, MD. She is an assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

For women, having sex ups vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, she says, all of which make sex feel better and help you crave more of it.

3. Improves Women's Bladder Control

A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives.

Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Research suggests a link between sex and lower blood pressure, says Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. He is CEO and medical director of Amai Wellness.

“There have been many studies,” he says. “One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.” That's the first number on your blood pressure test.

5. Counts as Exercise

“Sex is a really great form of exercise,” Pinzone says. It won’t replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.

Sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV. It gives you a one-two punch: It bumps up your heart rate and uses various muscles.

So get busy! You may even want to clear your schedule to make time for it on a regular basis.  “Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize the benefits,” Pinzone says.

6. Lowers Heart Attack Risk

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

“When either one of those is low you begin to get lots of problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease,” Pinzone says.

Having sex more often may help. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.

7. Lessens Pain

Before you reach for an aspirin, try for an orgasm.

“Orgasm can block pain,” says Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, a distinguished service professor at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. It releases a hormone that helps raise your pain threshold.

Stimulation without orgasm can also do the trick. “We’ve found that vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and many women have told us that genital self-stimulation can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache,” Komisaruk says.

8. May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely

Going for the gusto may help ward off prostate cancer.

Men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer during one study, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

You don’t need a partner to reap this benefit: Sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, and masturbation were all part of the equation.

It's not clear that sex was the only reason that mattered in that study. Lots of factors affect cancer risk. But more sex won’t hurt.

9. Improves Sleep

You may nod off more quickly after sex, and for good reason.

“After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness" after sex, says Sheenie Ambardar, MD. She is a psychiatrist in West Hollywood, Calif.

10. Eases Stress

Being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Ambardar says touching and hugging can release your body's natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.

Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too, Ambardar says. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.